“What the fuck is that?”
Iphys and the museum curator had been watching intently as the head of a giant turtle struggled to extricate itself from a portal that had appeared moments ago. A swirling vortex of black and gold clouds had centred on the remains of an extremely old and extremely Egyptian stone archway that was on display at the end of the gallery. The creature’s long grey-brown scaly head had pushed through enough to reveal it was connected to a vaguely humanoid body on the other side. More of it began to appear as it twisted and wriggled through the portal, trying to wrench itself out from some unseen dimension with great difficulty. Whatever mystical gateway that had opened up was about two sizes too small for it though. For the turtle creature, entering into this world was like trying to squeeze into those tight leather pants Iphys had bought on a whim a few years ago. An op shop find that had resulted in the floor of her bedroom being completely covered in talcum powder, and a panicked call to her ex when they wouldn’t come off at the end of the night.
The creature’s weird tubular nose stuck out like two pieces of wet macaroni, wriggling and flaring in frustration as the broad flat shell on its back wedged hard against the edges of the cloudy portal. It honestly didn’t look like it was having a good time at all, and Iphys felt sorry for the creature, she knew what it was like to be forced to into a world that didn’t fit. Tonight’s gala event had her wearing the most revealing outfit she had ever worn in public outside of a pride parade. Overall, as a costume choice, sexy Cleopatra had made her feel cold, self conscious, and like she was one wardrobe malfunction away from an indecent exposure charge. That said she did look good, her short black hair hung impossibly straight sitting just above her shoulders, and her long fringe looked good for the first time since cutting it on impulse several weeks ago. It was her eye makeup that really made the whole outfit come together though, thick black wings of eyeliner contrasted against heavy blue and gold eyeshadow, totally worth the two and a half hours it had taken to do.
While they were standing around watching, the creature had somehow managed to squeeze an entire arm through the portal. Its hands were flat and stubby but ended in some rather menacing claws that waved fruitlessly at them. It would have been far more terrifying if its other hand wasn’t wedged awkwardly under the top of its chest and the outside of the portal. Iphys turned to the curator and pointed at the turtle-creature, “I said, what the fuck is that?”
Her friend and Assistant Curator for the museum, Ash, was the sole reason she had been allowed into the party to begin with. Their short crop of fairy floss pink hair bounced as they moved their head from side to side, thinking. Iphys admired how Ash’s beautiful curls floated freely, separated by a stark skin fade along the side and back of their head. The cute, high femme look hit hard masc as you took in the rest of Ash’s everyday look. Large black tunnels stretching out and pulling down their earlobes matching the very chunky silver nose ring that hung down their cupid’s bow, almost touching their dark-purple lips. A pair of rather simple transparent cat’s eye framed glasses softened and blended the look together.
Ash, never one to wear fancy dress costumes, had opted for their best trouser suit which just so happened to be made of dark bronze fabric. The crisp, high collar, black button up shirt and matching bronze tie made Iphys feel like Ash was a good twenty years older than her, which they often acted like anyway so the outfit was quite fitting in that regard. Eventually Ash looked up at Iphys with a spark of confused curiosity on their face, “if I knew what it was I would have responded the first time,” they said in a respectful museum whisper. “The real question is, should we help it, or hit it?”
Iphys looked back at the struggling creature, it had resorted to pulling its long thick neck as far back inside its body as possible and then thrusting it out to try and get some momentum. Weirdly the movement unnerved Iphys, especially how the skin scrunched up around the turtle’s head when it was retracted. The whole thing made her feel slightly ill, “I’m pretty sure the smart thing to do in this sort of situation is to run away,” said Iphys mater-of-factly. “I’m voting we do that.”
With a silent nod of agreement from Ash they both started to back up slowly, trying not to further enrage the creature. Despite all the struggling and nauseating neck thrusting the creature was half way out of portal now and was able to bend at its waist in an effort to get a firm purchase on the ground below. It looked like a bumbling thief caught in the act of climbing through an open window, trying desperately to get away from a freaked out home owner. Once its wide shell was past the narrow point of the portal the rest of its body started to slide out easily and its attention was solely taken up by Iphys and Ash. The creature’s long rounded turtle head ended in a sharp beak that snapped hungrily at them, beady black eyes staring cold and murderously in their direction. A sharp, high pitched unearthly sound accompanied the snapping, sending shivers up Iphy’s spine even with her hands clamped tightly around her ears.
All subtlety gone, they turned and started to run down the exhibition hallway. Thankfully this particular exhibit was part of the museum’s regular displays and they weren’t trapped in a one way maze of cases, interactive displays, and temporary walls. Iphys instinctively looked back to make sure Ash was following her, they had a tendency to get distracted and she didn’t want them to be left standing there trying to study the creature. As last words go, ‘fascinating’ was certainly up there but she’d rather her friend lived long enough to publish something from tonight, but no, Ash was right on her heels. She couldn’t tell if the pained look on the their face was from the sudden and unexpected running or the missed opportunity to study an actual ancient Egyptian demon. To be honest, it was probably both if she knew Ash well enough.
A loud thump sounded from behind followed by a cascade of rocks as the creature had presumably wrenched itself free from the portal. Ash let out a cry, “that archway was over two and a half thousand years old!”
“Well,” said Iphys between strained breaths as she ran on, “at least it wasn’t new!” She couldn’t tell if the groan from Ash was aimed at her specifically or their situation in general. Both reactions were warranted though, and not for the first time this evening she regretted getting poor Ash involved. She regretted getting herself involved as well but the choice had been made and she was nothing if not stubborn in her choices. Well, up to a point at least. That point as it turns out is turtle demons from unknown dimensions trying to eat her. Who knew?
Iphys had no hard plan for getting away, her brain was just screaming run over and over again. In between waves of adrenaline it seemed like she was instinctively heading back towards the main foyer, which meant she was also heading back to the gala event. The sound of loud but unobtrusive chamber music echoed down the corridor the closer she got, the collection of mostly white string and woodwind musicians producing a vaguely Egyptian noise. Iphys thought it had bordered on cultural insensitivity, or at the very least a form of cultural appropriation but apparently that sentiment wasn’t appreciated by the museum’s top donors when she casually brought it up before. Could you even call it a party if you didn’t make a bunch of rich old white men nervous and uncomfortable? Not a good one anyway.
As she rounded the corner the large foyer exhibition space opened up before her. It had been turned into a grand ballroom for the evening with costumed guests milling around ancient artefacts and extremely believable replicas. Earlier on in the evening Ash had told her which was which and as it turns out, was something clueless rich men used as pickup lines on her. Several had insisted confidently, and without prompting, that the object she happened to be looking at was a fake. While they happened to be right most of the time, she enjoyed trying to convince them of the opposite. None of them wanted to admit they didn’t actually know and were so desperate to show off they talked themselves into believing her. It was an amusing game and proved that a well made fake can be just as enjoyable as the real thing, sometimes more so.
Iphys skidded to a halt just inside the foyer and ducked behind a large display cabinet, trying not to draw too much attention to herself. Although the sight of a six foot tall Cleopatra sliding across the marble floors at a running speed brought a certain amount of unavoidable attention. In a show of irony, the display cabinet she clung too just so happened to hold an ornate statue of the goddess Isis. Her sun disk headdress shone in the museum lighting and the statue’s worn painted face held a soft, motherly smile. For a moment Iphys wondered if the statue’s creator had actually met the goddess because it was an eerily accurate portrayal. Less than a week ago, that same smile had set her on this path to begin with, although the mention of angry turtle creatures from another dimension had conveniently been left out.